Well Counselor

In today’s culture of ‘ghosting’ and text-based communications, it is rare to experience a satisfying end to many relationships. People are ‘ghosting’ friendships, romantic relationships, employers, and more. When we end, or terminate, counseling relationships, we have the opportunity to model a healthy goodbye process.

Therapeutic relationships are unlike many other relationships. One difference is that they are often time bound. They are not meant to last forever. There are exceptions based on diagnoses and presenting issues, but typically we don’t want or expect our clients to be dependent on us forever. We want them to ‘graduate’ therapy (or take breaks) to use their new skills and tools out in the world independently. Given this goal of independence, termination should be on the front of our minds even as we begin counseling with new clients and it should be handled with care to avoid causing any harm. It is a rare and beautiful gift to provide our clients with the closure of a planned goodbye. Below are some tips for a supportive termination process.

• Termination should not be sprung on the client in the last session. Start planning for it during the intake process when you discuss the duration of treatment and treatment goals.
• Termination can be filled with many emotions for both you and your client. Allow space for client to process all emotions, including grief, relief, hope, pride, and any others, especially if they feel conflicting.
• Be mindful of your own thoughts and feelings about ending a therapeutic relationship with a client. You probably won’t share all of your own thoughts and feelings with your client, but acknowledging them will help you navigate the termination process.
• You do not need to spend any money on gifts or tokens to make termination meaningful. The most meaningful termination experiences I have shared with clients have been the exchange of words or a brief note.
• Be sure that you keep the termination process and any associated activities focused on them. The process should be intentional and tailored to your client and their treatment plan/goals.  
• Collaborate with your client so they are part of planning the termination process and what would be meaningful to them.
  • How do they want to spend their final sessions with you? What milestone indicates they are ready for a break from therapy?

• Encourage your client to reflect on growth.
  • How have they changed? What will they take away from the experience of therapy?
• Depending on your theoretical orientation, you may choose to engage in a bit more self-disclosure in final sessions, sharing what you learned from your client and what you plan to take away. Be sure that anything you share has intentional therapeutic value and keep it professional. Here are some examples of appropriate self-disclosing statements: 
  • “I’ve been really proud of the growth I’ve seen in you. I remember when you first walked in here….”  
  • “I’ve appreciated you allowing me the privilege of being your therapist. I have learned a lot and it was meaningful for me too.” 

• Make a plan for how they could return to therapy if they need it. If you are transitioning them to another therapist, then create a plan for that to ensure continuity of care.

How do you plan for termination? Share in the comments so we can all growth in this skill together!

This blog was written by Dr. Olivia Bentley, PhD, LPCC-S, Founder of Well Counselor. All views are my own.